Chris Hoy, who just picked up 3 gold medals in Beijing (making him the first British competitor to win 3 golds at a single Olympics since 1908) does. In fact, at the early age of 13 he wrote in his diary that one day he would win gold at the Olympics!
…What goal do you have written in your diary?
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Being authentic is not something people talk about a lot. Maybe because it is a quality not much appreciated and not much sought after in our money oriented, materially emphasised, image and fame driven culture. Politicians have become spin masters, entertainers have become fame seekers, sportsmen have become idols.
How much authenticity are our role models displaying? …not much by all accounts.
Being authentic however may be the one quality that may truly set us free, bring us closer to happiness and fulfilment.
So what has “being authentic” to do with hapiness? What does “being authentic” mean?
Being authentic to me means being present, in the moment free of any embellishment, falseness, hype, pretense, deception, emotional baggage and free of any head-trash. A clear view of what is so and where we fit. No more endless disatisfaction wishing we were somewhere else, with someone else, doing something else or having something else. An appreciation of where we are at right here right now. A form of self-acceptance despite conditions. Yet not defeatism. A sense of full empowerment. A freedom from the grips of emotional debris. An ability to experience what is going on here and now, to appreciate it fully and be faced with an abundance of choices in how to respond. Freedom from the rigid default conditioned responses we habitually display. A world of endless possibilities in the moment.
Sound like a tall order? It is.
Authenticity is revealed when the layers of fabricated identity, the layers of negative conditioned response and the veils of ignorance are gradually removed. Beneath all that is our authenticity. Our spontaneous greatness. It’s there. But to reach it requires a lot of refinement. There are various means.
When we experience being authentic, there is no more “want”, no more chasing after this and that, no more avoiding one suffering or another. We embrace our current state of affairs and respond spontaneously “for the better”. Our guide becomes some type of inner wisdom rather than outer distractions, desires and avoidances. Our mind is powerfully settled, but certainly not asleep or sluggish. On the contrary it is sharp resplendishing brightness and flexible.
That is what being authentic represents to me. It is a state of mind. A level of supreme responsibility and greatness. Less fear, more life. What is so is what is so. No need for dramas. More energy for constructive solutions. An appreciation of our own life-force and a commitment to harnessing it in a good way, a constructive wholesome way that has its effects beyond our own individuality. A positive place in this ocean of consciousness amongst fellow humans…
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A quote that recently caught my eye and amused me:
“What literature can and should do is change the people who teach the people who don’t read the books.”
– A. S. Byatt (post-modern novelist and poet)
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Often I get asked which management / leadership style is best? Autocratic or democratic?
I was first challenged with this question by my training manager Yvonne Reynolds when I was 19 years old, a rookie in management training school with Taco Time Intl., a chain of Mexican style fast food restaurants based in the Pacific North West of the US. Having come out of the Navy, I naively answered “autocratic”. I still laugh about my answer today. And I guess my style was autocratic back in those early days. Lets face it: I had been trained as a drill sargent and a bosun on deck operations on a river patrol boat. Autocratic was the flavour there!
However, I rapidly learned through experience very early on in my management career running restaurants that restaurant staff were not sailors and that a restaurant was not a battle ship! I learned the hard way: staff would rebel against me, plot against me and complain about me to my superiors, who had mixed emotion about me: on one hand my restaurants results (both in sales, profits and standards of quality, service and cleanliness) were the best in the company, and by quite a long stretch; but on the other hand, my team was not always a happy team, often complaining (about me working them too hard) .
I almost made the mistake of reshaping my style to “democratic”, giving the initiative (and the control) to the staff hoping this would make them happier (it didn’t). One morning, my training manger (the same great lady called Yvonne) came to my store -to my rescue! She sat me down and got me thinking hard about leadership styles. What style should we adopt? was her question. After hours of reflection on all my experiences to date, deliberation about autocratic versus democratic and some deep thinking I came up with my answer: “no fixed style as every situation is different”. I was pretty close. She was pleased. The correct answer was: “the appropriate style for the situation” or “situational leadership”.
This style largely takes into account the ability of the staff concerned, the level of training they had received, and their willingness / motivation to do the task. With that understanding, the manager/leader could then determine the right mix of directing, supporting, coaching and delegating required for optimum efficiency and results… for each individual and/or team. Common sense really, but how many managers know this? To this day, as I experience service and purchase products from all sorts of companies ranging from airlines to coffee bars, I am generally disappointed to see that most managers seem not to know. A recent visit to KFC at Leicester square showed me a good example of a “democratic” management style totally out of control! The staff ruled, and the customer had to wait, for cold, unappetising food…No please, no thank you, no eye contact. This was quite an extreme case, but I could cite dozens of similarly poorly managed outlets within a stones throw.
Back to the story: Yvonne gave me some books to study including Blanchard’s best selling book on Leadership. I recommend it: “Leadership and the one minute manager”. The missing link was found and I became an excellent restaurant operator. And the rest, as they say, is history.
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“The real currency is energy”
(My esteemed teacher Mr Luong Vi Kien)
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Do you ever feel like your mind is trapped on a treadmill? It keeps running and you can’t seem to stop it or even slow it down?
A large majority of my prospects and clients ranging from business leaders, entrepreneurs, athletes and performing artists, come to me with this problem: “if only I could slow down my mind I would get a good night’s sleep / I could think clearer / I could see the wood for the trees / I would know which direction to take / I’d be a lot less stressed / I’d be more productive, less confused, etc… but I can’t seem to do it!”
I hear it all too often.
Mozart once said: “the music is in the space between the notes”
A powerful martial arts master is capable of mustering huge speed and power because he has mastered his mind to stillness. He can take on several opponents at the same time, his mind and body free to respond accordingly. No mind entanglement.
Does a great artist not need a clear unspoilt canvas to work on?
Great activity and creation occur on the backdrop of silence. The “big bang” of creation happened in silent still space…
If we desire to achieve more, if we want to increase and speed up our productivity : we would do well to slow down, slow our mind down, and free it from attachments. Think about it: if your mind is too busy, too attached, how can it take on more? How can you carry more when your hands are already full? How can your mind process more when it’s already struggling? An overloaded computer slows down. (So we run an anti virus and clear it out). An overburdened donkey eventually collapses!
By slowing down our mind, we create space. We create room for more. Room for more quantity and more quality. And more importantly, we get PRESENT: less attachment to past events and all the emotion they carry. We come back to centre, back to the root of our awareness. Back to equipoise.
Less then allows for more. A new cycle can begin…
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When working with a new client, at the onset we take stock of where they are at and where they want to be. They typically write lists of what they wish for in life in terms of improvement. More often than not, most of everything they present to me is about doing and having. Doing more of some things and less of others, or doing new things. A different career, a new hobby, better results in golf… And having more of something and less of something else. More money with less effort and less worry for example.
Rarely do I see anything about being. Being authentic, being honorable, being productive, being precise, being mindful…
So are we human “beings”, “doings” or “havings” is the question I have to ask. Where is our focus?
How about you? What would you have written down on the list? Where is your focus?
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‘Welcome to flight ME 237, destination New York City’ says the Captain over the Intercom.
‘This is your Captain speaking, and I’ll be flying you to New York. Actually, I’ll be doing 10% of the flying, and the autopilot 90%. Only hitch is that I’m not quite sure who programmed it, and what they programmed into it. Anyway, welcome aboard!’
Would you stay on this flight?
Most probably not, right? Our lives are not dissimilar. We create goals with our conscious mind, but where is the unconscious mind headed? What was programmed into it?
Unless the whole mind is singing from the same songsheet, ie the goal is recognised by the entire mind, chances are we will always remain at an arm’s length from fulfilling the goal. Success will continually escape us.
So what’s inside your autopilot?
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